Category : Skills

Dealing with children in this fast paced life can take toll on you. But, as parents we have opened our hearts to our children. We bring them to life and want to give them the best of everything. But are we coming out really strong on them in the process to give them the best? Today, children are exposed to information from all around the globe from various sources (Thanks, to Technology). They have become tech savvy, but in this race towards success and cut-throat competition they have lost the essence of being a child. If the child is not good at studies, parents force him to study hard, if he still cannot keep up he is an average kid or lazy and is given many other moniker.

We, being parents, possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. We can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. We can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. Positive parenting raises a child who WANTS to behave.

Strict Parenting raises angry kids who lose interest in pleasing their parents.

Permissive Parenting raises unhappy kids who test their parents.

In both cases, the child resists the parent’s guidance and does not learn self-discipline.

Positive parenting, sometimes called gentle or loving guidance is simply guidance that keeps our kids on the right path, offered in a positive way that resists any temptation to be punitive. Children misbehave when they feel discouraged and powerless. When you use discipline methods that overpower them or make them feel bad about themselves, you lower their self-esteem. Most parents think punishment will install discipline but they are only installing Fear. Physical force teaches children all the wrong lessons. Parents assume discipline means some sort of punishment, because our culture’s view of human nature assumes that humans must be punished so they will learn not to repeat the mistake. The ultimate goal of learning is self-discipline, so that mistakes are not repeated.

So what helps kids stop themselves from acting in ways they know they shouldn’t. What gets them to start desirable behavior, and keep doing it?

Here are six tips for Positive Parenting:

1. Appreciate the value of  play:

           Play is critical to all aspects of child development but is often overlooked. Play can prevent discipline problems and offer a      natural way for children to learn.

2. Talk with and listen to your child.

            It is important to make eye contact and use gentle touch when communicating with your child. Remember the importance of non-verbal communication.

3. Build your child’s brain and body.

            Provide healthful meals and snacks and model good eating habit. Encourage exercise by being active with your child.

4. Be your child’s first source of information.

            Encourage you children to ask questions. By answering questions from your child with honesty and openness you can create a relationship of mutual trust and respect.

5. Learn how children develop and know your unique child.

           When it comes to your child, the real expert is you. Know all areas of your child’s development – physical, intellectual, social, emotional and moral.

6. Cherish you child’s individuality.

            Support your child’s interests and talents. Try to spend time alone with each of your children every day. Praise your children’s differences and avoid comparing them.

“Children have more needs of models then of critics.” – Carolyn Coats

Ever thought what is Listening and why is it so Important?

Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process. Listening is an important key to all effective communication. Without the ability to listen, effective messages are easily misunderstood – communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated.

Richard Branson frequently quotes Listening as one of the main factors behind the success of Virgin. Not only Richard Branson, but most of the Leaders and entrepreneurs of the world credit their success to Listening skills. Communication is a two way process: One is a Listener and other is a Speaker. If any one of the either communicator fails to communicate effectively than the message is not conveyed properly and is easily misunderstood. Understanding how to practice good communication even in your day to day life, among friends, family, and significant others, is important for a number of reasons: fostering good self-esteem, maximizing productivity, improving relationships, and even becoming a better speaker. It’s easy to mistake listening as a simple, passive task, but it requires more than just the ability to absorb information from someone else. Listening is a process, and an active one.

Generally, Listening is mistaken as Hearing. Let me tell you, Listening and Hearing are two very different concepts. Hearing refers to the sounds that you hear, whereas listening requires more than that: it requires FOCUS. Listening means playing attention not only to the story, but how it is told, the use of language and voice, and how the other person uses his or her body. In other words, it means being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages. Your ability to listen effectively depends on the degree to which you perceive and understand these messages

TO DEVELOP GOOD LISTENING SKILLS PRACTICE LARSEN:

A Good Listener:

Looks at speakers:

Establishing eye contact with the speaker is important. In any communication, when a Listener makes an Eye contact with the Speaker it means that he is ready to listen with full attention.

Asks questions when necessary:

Asking questions reassures the speaker of the listener’s genuine interest on the subject and his attempt to understand what speaker is saying. It also acts as a clarification to ensure that the listener understands of what the speaker is saying is correct.

Responds regularly & frequently:

Listener should respond frequently during the conversation so that the speaker understands that the message is effectively communicated. Your facial expressions reflect your interest, so Non-verbal communication is useful to respond frequently during the conversation.

Stays on subject:

When asking questions to speaker during a conversation, stay on the subject and don’t change the direction of the conversation. Try to be on the same page with the speaker.

 Emotions under control:

Try to be impartial.  Don’t become irritated and don’t let the person’s habits or mannerisms distract you from what they are really saying.  Everybody has a different way of speaking.

Never interrupts:

Relax. Focus on the Speaker. Never interrupt a speaker when he is speaking. Wait for him to complete or pause and then put forth your view.

“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen.  Just listen.  Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.”

–           Rachel Naomi Remen