Positive Parenting
Dealing with children in this fast paced life can take toll on you. But, as parents we have opened our hearts to our children. We bring them to life and want to give them the best of everything. But are we coming out really strong on them in the process to give them the best? Today, children are exposed to information from all around the globe from various sources (Thanks, to Technology). They have become tech savvy, but in this race towards success and cut-throat competition they have lost the essence of being a child. If the child is not good at studies, parents force him to study hard, if he still cannot keep up he is an average kid or lazy and is given many other moniker.
We, being parents, possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. We can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. We can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. Positive parenting raises a child who WANTS to behave.
Strict Parenting raises angry kids who lose interest in pleasing their parents.
Permissive Parenting raises unhappy kids who test their parents.
In both cases, the child resists the parent’s guidance and does not learn self-discipline.
Positive parenting, sometimes called gentle or loving guidance is simply guidance that keeps our kids on the right path, offered in a positive way that resists any temptation to be punitive. Children misbehave when they feel discouraged and powerless. When you use discipline methods that overpower them or make them feel bad about themselves, you lower their self-esteem. Most parents think punishment will install discipline but they are only installing Fear. Physical force teaches children all the wrong lessons. Parents assume discipline means some sort of punishment, because our culture’s view of human nature assumes that humans must be punished so they will learn not to repeat the mistake. The ultimate goal of learning is self-discipline, so that mistakes are not repeated.
So what helps kids stop themselves from acting in ways they know they shouldn’t. What gets them to start desirable behavior, and keep doing it?
Here are six tips for Positive Parenting:
- Appreciate the value of play:
Play is critical to all aspects of child development but is often overlooked. Play can prevent discipline problems and offer a natural way for children to learn.
- Talk with and listen to your child.
It is important to make eye contact and use gentle touch when communicating with your child. Remember the importance of non-verbal communication.
- Build your child’s brain and body.
Provide healthful meals and snacks and model good eating habit. Encourage exercise by being active with your child.
- Be your child’s first source of information.
Encourage you children to ask questions. By answering questions from your child with honesty and openness you can create a relationship of mutual trust and respect.
- Learn how children develop and know your unique child.
When it comes to your child, the real expert is you. Know all areas of your child’s development – physical, intellectual, social, emotional and moral.
- Cherish you child’s individuality.
Support your child’s interests and talents. Try to spend time alone with each of your children every day. Praise your children’s differences and avoid comparing them.
“Children have more needs of models then of critics.” – Carolyn Coats
